Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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