Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
