I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
