is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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