we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
4 words: hood of his car
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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