I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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