For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
