In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
