Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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