So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
