Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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