North Korea, Best Korea!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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