i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
