I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
