How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
