This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
