I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize