if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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