This is not my ceiling
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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