she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
