Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
