That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
