it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just want nice things and good sex
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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