Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
