Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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