she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
