well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
