Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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