some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
