What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize
