Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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