im six kinds of drunk right now
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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