maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
