dude i'm inner monologue high
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
