what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
