so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
