Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Randomize
