Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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