i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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