I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
