My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Randomize
