I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
