Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
