He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
the room spins SO much faster in panama
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
