You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
