Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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