I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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