Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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