I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
