considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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