tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
