My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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