ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
