just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
