I need help removing her.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
